East Bay Times22%
Harriette Cole: My brother’s wife wanted to be at a hotel, so she treated my house like one 32%
By Harriette Cole49%
8/7/2026, 2:00:01 AM
Keywords: Harriette Cole, Advice, Sense And Sensitivity, Family, Host, Guest, Houseguest, Rude, Sister In Law, Neighbor, Emergency, Bothersome, Text Messages
BS Summary: This article contains 25 faulty reasoning types, including Negativity Bias, False Dilemma, and Biased Writer Voice, with Indoctrination as the most egregious example at 19% saturation with 114 hits. Analysis detected 858 faulty-reasoning hits from 600 analyzed words, generating a BS Score of 33.7% and a BS Rank of 32% (20,969 of 30,584 articles). This article is better (less manipulative) than 68.60% of the article peer group.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother and his wife came up to stay with me to celebrate her birthday.
My family and I mapped out a fun itinerary covering everything they mentioned wanting to see.
It’s safe to say some money was spent in the making of this production.
Unfortunately, though, at home, we found ourselves in disagreement on a few things.
Although I bought all the groceries, breakfast items and snacks they requested, my sister-in-law expected to be served while on vacation.
Separately, she refused to ever turn off the air conditioning unit in the guest room, even when we’d leave home.
I knew that would have a huge impact on my electric bill.
I spoke to my brother about it, but his excuse was, “It’s her birthday.”
I tried mentioning it to her.
She scoffed and said that she actually wanted to be at a hotel and shouldn’t have to compromise on a nice experience just because her husband had other plans.
This soured the rest of their stay for me.
I think it may be best for them to stay in a hotel whenever they visit in the future.
Am I overreacting?
— Hotel Amenities
DEAR HOTEL AMENITIES: You have every right to want to grant your sister-in-law her wishes for her next visit — let them stay at a hotel.
You are not a maid nor her bankroll.
The fact that she was so selfish to expect you to serve her with no regard for you speaks volumes, but more, your brother allowed it.
Tell him that you feel they took advantage of you and you do not appreciate that.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I gave my neighbor in my apartment building my phone number so if either of us ever needed anything, we could contact each other.
Now he texts me all the time with all these annoying requests.
For example, he’s asked me to borrow cups of sugar or help me move things around in his apartment.
He texts me at least two to three times a week about something for me to help him with.
I didn’t mind at first because I thought that’s what good neighbors do for each other.
If he needed a small favor here or there, I was happy to help.
But over time, the requests have become more frequent, and I’m starting to feel like he’s taking advantage of my kindness.
I don’t think he’s trying to be rude, but it’s gotten to the point where I hesitate every time my phone buzzes because I assume it’s another request.
I also don’t want to create an awkward situation since we live in the same building and see each other regularly.
How can I set boundaries with my neighbor but also not make anything weird between us since we do live so close?
— Needy Neighbor
DEAR NEEDY NEIGHBOR: Start saying no when he makes requests.
Tell him you are unavailable to help when you don’t have the time or desire.
Over time, wean him off the texts.
At some point, say to him that when it’s an emergency, he and you should use a special code word.
Otherwise, you will help if you can, but you cannot be as available to him as he seems to want.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams.
You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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Analysis
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