OutKick96%
$91 Million Man Lane Kiffin Too Cheap To Buy Grocery Bags93%
By Austin Perry0%
12/26/2025, 7:01:33 PM
BS Summary: This article contains 22 faulty reasoning types, including Ad Hominem, Fundamental Attribution Error, and Anchoring Bias, with Negativity Bias as the most egregious example at 63.3% saturation with 247 hits. Analysis detected 1,553 faulty-reasoning hits from 390 analyzed words, generating a BS Score of 88.9% and a BS Rank of 93% (1,240 of 16,813 articles). This article is worse (more manipulative) than 92.60% of the article peer group.
Imagine being THIS much of a cheapskate when you're worth nine figures!
LSU coach Lane Kiffin was recently the recipient of a massive payday after his move to Baton Rouge, but that hasn't stopped him from tightening the purse strings a little bit.
The new head coach on the Bayou was grocery shopping when he was caught by his daughter, Landry, coming home with a basket that belonged to the local store instead of buying the reusable grocery bags like they wanted him to.
Honestly, how frugal do you have to be to not shell out the money to buy the grocery store's intended bags?
On the one hand, I respect the rejection of authority on principle; it is pretty stupid to have to buy grocery bags, especially in this economy.
But, if we are being real here, Lane Kiffin just signed a $91 million contract that pays him something like $13 million per year.
These bags can't be more than a couple bucks a piece — especially in a backwater town like Baton Rouge — so the fact that Kiffin flat out refuses to dish out the dough is rather wild.
If even half of the rumors that came out about Kiffin after he left Ole Miss are true — and that's a big IF — then him being a cheapskate is pretty low on the hierarchy of transgressions, but it's still a pretty bad look for a guy who is worth close to nine figures.
The fine folks of X are absolutely raking Kiffin over the coals in the comment section, which has been somewhat of a national pastime for anyone that doesn't wear purple and gold pajamas these days.
Then again, an argument can be made that Kiffin is so weird and such a malcontent because all he cares about is football.
He's like Rainman but for offensive schemes.
Of course he didn't want to worry about buying the bags, he's too busy game planning for Clemson next year.
We will see what other misdemeanors Kiffin can get up to while he's in Baton Rouge, but it's safe to say his tenure at LSU is already off to an entertaining start off the field.
Check back next week when Lane parks in the "expectant mothers' spot" at CVS.
It should be a fun day on the internet.
Analysis
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